Monday, September 16, 2013

Another "I don't know" days....

Perhaps it's the Mondays coming to drain my soul, but I am really feeling the uncertainty of life. It's like all avenues taken, whether tiny or huge, are all giant issues that I'm triple checking myself on. Yet I'm still unable to make a clear decision on what the right path is. I'm probably already going down the right paths, but that certainty is an evading little rascal. 

I started the app, "Zombies, run! 2" yesterday and it was great...except the side effect of my mind thinking the possibility of it being reality. I mean, if something like that really did happen, I'm super screwed!! I learned that jogging away from the incoming zombies horde is NOT good enough. When they say you need to run, they are not joking. They mean "run chubby lady RUN!" 

As I sit at work today i heard a plane/jet fly over really low and my thoughts flashed to a bomb dropping. positive right?! I realized that I hope my family and I are in the 'instant death' radius so we don't have to deal with the aftermath. Is it bad that I wish for a quick and painless death for my family then to deal with the horrible possibilities of "....what happens next"?

Self preservation is VERY important don't get me wrong. It's just scary to think about. When co-workers call me the zombie lady cause they think I 'Like' zombies I have to clarify that I do NOT like zombies. It's fascinating but really very scary and inflicts nightmares and daymares. 

What's a "daymare" you ask? It's when your awake and your mind throws instant scary thoughts to where you know it's not real but you still don't open that curtain because there's that 1% chance it could be. 

So, in conclusion, this Monday is making me feel less then a proper decision making adult and more of the panic, second guessing human.

Oh, don't forget I have a project to do in my Graphic Design class so huzzah for going into it with great feelings!!! Ha!

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