Thursday, September 19, 2013

Movie Review Time, Yay Netflix! "Against the Dark"

Good evening everyone,
Against the Dark (2009) PosterSo last night Thomas and I tried to watch a movie I saw on Netflix. It had Steven Seagal, with a sword, in front of two vampire chicks. Now take into account that someone merely flipped the one girls image to make it look, well, cooler? I know my graphics design teacher would freak out if he saw that's what I had done for a finished project. I digress, it's Steven Seagal so I was like "Hey, let's watch that. How bad could it be?Seagal will do some martial arts which will make it entertaining."  Well I was wrong, super wrong. We, I mean I,  didn't make it through more then 20 minutes of the movie and I couldn't watch anymore.

The movie went like this (at least the 20 minutes I watched):
Scene 1: Steven Seagal and some random folks, at night (oh when they tell you not to go out at night cause that's when all the vampires are out) and they slice up some "vampires."  Oh and each clip shown of the "vampries" make you think they are zombies. I don't think the director knows his horror monsters. Now I'm assuming Seagal did some martial arts stuff with that cool sword but I can't say for sure as their lighting didn't show anything. At least the sound guys tried their best to make up for it. You do see Seagal move though, so you can assume.

Scene 2: Away from Seagal and his band of black wearing lackeys and to a group of normal people who are actually the story plot. Now enters in the cookie cutter dialogue. Now this was a teaching moment for me because I thought back on some of the things I wrote and worried if my stuff sounded like this movie. It was bad.

Scene 3: Back to Seagal, walking in the dark, with a sword *cough* just like the move cover *cough*, slicing up a few things, saves a kid, and then makes a comment that had no place at all. Thomas stated that they probably edited out the sentence/conversation prior to Seagal comment...not sure why'd you do.

Scene 4: Back to actual plot and characters, enter cookie cutter dialog...and turned the movie off...

Now I know to give a movie a real review you should watch the who thing but I just couldn't. Seagal fits into a category with Jean Claude Van Damme of actors who are fun to watch because they are more of a martial arts tool then an actor.  Sorry guys, I enjoy watching you but come on.

If anyone actually makes it through the movie you can prove me wrong or tell me it gets better, I'd enjoy hearing from you!

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